Negative people are all around us. Though we can try to avoid them, they’ll always be there either as a friend or a stranger. It’s not you, well at least that’s what I tell myself. Some don’t even know they’re being a negative Nancy or angry Adam but they are and you’ll have to learn how to deal with them.
In my day-to-day life, I’ll come in contact with a negative person or two but when you live in a city filled with different personalities that are going through different things in their lives, it’s to be expected that you’ll be in the company of negativity energy.
Hence, the inspiration behind today’s blog post. As some of you may know, I’m taking part in a 30-Day Blogging Challenge.
I had another topic I wanted to write about today but after an earlier conversation, I wrote this one instead. It wasn’t on the list but I’m realizing that for writing, not everything needs to go according to plan. I’m already doing that with Nanowrimo and I like finally having a blog to blog my thoughts and feelings.
I’m getting a little off topic so let’s get right into some of the ways I deal with negative people.
Don’t take everything so personally
It’s so easy to get in your feelings when someone makes you feel a certain way. I’m a sensitive person. I can admit this at this point in my journey. So I’ve had to learn to let certain things roll off my back and go in one ear and out the other. With this said, don’t lose precious brain power trying to figure out why the negative cashier at your supermarket doesn’t smile and tell you to have a nice day. And don’t feel bad when you don’t receive a warm welcome at the MAC counter. Either avoid these places or learn to co-exist even if it’s for a few minutes. Now, I’m not perfect at this and you’ll probably find this to be difficult, but the sooner you understand this important rule of not taking things personally, the easier it will be to deal with negative people.
Learn to keep your ego in check
You’ve experienced this before, I’m almost sure of it. You’re having a great day. Your coffee came out the way you wanted it and you’re feeling good. You leave your home and boom, someone pisses you off. You’re wondering what you’ve done to deserve they’re attitude but instead of not paying them any attention and walking away, you let your ego take control. Now you’re arguing with this person, albeit stranger or loved one, and at the end of the argument you’re still pissed. In fact, for the rest of the day you can’t stop kicking yourself for allowing this person to ruin your great day. They’ve transferred their negativity on to you and they’ve done that because you let your ego get in the way. The ego is a powerful thing and if you don’t learn to keep it in check it can get you in the unhappy zone. Have control over your ego and when you notice someone trying to test it walk away. No need to win an argument with a negative person when you can win at being the better person.
Take their criticisms with a grain of salt
Negative people are always primed and ready to criticize whether you’ve asked them for critiques or not. I’m not a fan of criticisms, and few of us are. But there are also many individuals out there who take people’s criticisms to make themselves better. Be more like these people. I like to separate criticisms into two categories: constructive criticisms and reckless criticisms. Reckless criticism can be related to you building your sandcastle on the beach and a negative Nancy coming through and calling your sandcastle ugly, stomping all over it, and then walking away. While constructive criticism is that same person calling your sandcastle ugly then giving you advice on how you can rebuild a bigger and better one without them needing to damage the one you’ve already built. If there is anything you take from this post, take this one. Take negative people’s criticisms lightly because chances are they don’t really want to see you win, they just like seeing you frown.
Spend as little time with them as possible
Saved the best for last. Sometimes we can’t get rid of certain negative Nancys or Nathans because they work in the cubicle next to us, they’re our own friends or worse are members of our own family. We put up with their negativity because we have to and kicking them out of our life is damn near impossible. In cases like this, reduce the amount of your time you spend with them. Listen, your joy should be one of your top priorities, if not your number one priority. People spewing negativity can be toxic and can have a damaging effect on how you see yourself and your own happiness. It’s important that you are selective with the time you spend with them.
But before pulling a disappearing act on them, it’s important that you talk to them first if you haven’t already. Tell them about their negativity and how it’s affecting your relationship with them. As I mentioned before, some negative people don’t even realize they’re being negative. They really believe they are keeping it real. You can’t really fault these negative people. But if the negative person in your life isn’t trying to hear it, you have to do what’s best for you. So if holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and funerals are the only time you’ll see or speak to them, so be it. Your happiness is important, protect it like a baby.
Image credit: Dollar Photo Club/Trimbaldi